creative masturbation techniques, for women

Due to the overwhelming response received for the male version of creative masturbation techniques, it is only fair that the I divulge some of the secret techniques of women. That’s right ladies, we’re up to bat.

I know a lot of women who like to masturbate, and by a lot, I mean almost all. There are a few women whom I have encountered who vehemently deny such clitoral shenanigans, to which I say, “are you crazy?” or “you’re a big fucking liar.” But the general consensus is this; we are masters at conducting our own orchestra pits.

Without further ado, I present you with Creative Masturbation Techniques for Women. Of course we all already know about cucumbers and all the other random shit that we are capable of shoving inside of ourselves, that is certainly no secret. The following are a few stories of vaginal creativity, one of which I have tested in the name of research, for quality assurance. You’re welcome.

The Swimming Pool

When Jackie first discovered the magical sensation rubbing her clitoris generated, she couldn’t get enough. This is true for most girls, but we grow tired of rubbing, and soon branch out in search of new and more exciting frontiers.

Jackie loved spending her summers at the country club pool with all of her friends. While the grown ups sat and gossiped, she was allowed the luxury of unlimited vending machine access, and long sunny days in the pool playing sharks and minnows with her friends.

One day Jackie swam over to the side of the pool to ask the lifeguard a question. As she grabbed on to the side, crossed her arms on the ledge and placed her chin on her hands, she felt what was soon to become her favorite pastime. There was a forceful jet of warm water flowing from the wall of the pool directly onto the crotch of her one-piece swimsuit. Jackie’s eyes widened in surprise and pleasure, and she inconspicuously shifted her ladyparts closer to the jet until positioned perfectly on her magic spot. Her face flushed,

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