15 Men Explain Their Favorite (Super Weird) Masturbation Techniques


When it comes to men and self-pleasure, it’s no surprise that most guys love it. After all, what do most men enjoy second only to beer, sports, and allowing their jobs consume them? Why, having sex, of course! And while, yes, every man is different and every man’s libido is likely to ebb and flow over time, from the time most young males begin thinking about how to masturbate, their quest for discovering the best and most “effective” masturbation techniques becomes a nearly full-time occupation.

I don’t know about you, but if I were asked to imagine a man blowing his own horn, so to speak, I would picture him lying down on his bed or sitting in front of his computer screen, putting one hand to work vigorously and valiantly in the pursuit of an orgasm. I mean, it’s not like this is some form of high art. I may not have a penis, but I know how they work, and I’ve seen enough guys at work on their own that I feel it’s fair to say that my conception of what a guy does while going solo comes pretty close to what most of you other women out there probably assume it looks like, too.

But, ladies, we couldn’t be more wrong…

It all started when a guy I know was talking to me about how he first learned to take care of his own sexual needs by rubbing his penis against his left thigh while wearing his pants.

“That worked for you?” I asked him.

He nodded. “I’m pretty sure it’s actually why I have a significant curve to the left.”

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That’s probably not the case, as every penis is a snowflake with its own unique twists and turns, like any good story, but it got me thinking: if this guy had such a unique way of taking care of business, are there other guys out there who have their own weird techniques? 

The short answer is, oh my god, yes.


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