I wasn’t going to write anything, and then the fabulous Cara Thereon published her year in review post, Bits N Boobs. As well as an awesome title, her post includes some very sweet reflections, and inspired me to have a go at writing my own post. I don’t promise the coherence that others have shown, but I have words to say and thank yous to make.
I’d like to include a content warning for discussion of my depression.
Things I’ve achieved: real life
I think the big one for me is that I stared dealing with my mental illness. I’ve gone through CBT sessions, seen doctors and psychiatrists, and started taking medication that helps me. It’s been a hard year, and I’ve struggled, but I’m still here. I passed all my university exams. I worked through the summer despite regular anxiety attacks. I got over someone I was in love with. I completed a qualification outside of academia that I’d been working towards for two years. I went running every day in January. I worked a lot on my relationship with my parents.
I admit, the highs and the lows of the year blur together somewhat.
Maybe it counts as enough of an achievement that I’m still here. I’m still smiling, I’m still crying, I’m still making a fool of myself in front of humans I find cute. There were points this year when I never expected to get through the next hour, let alone the whole way to 2018. Not only am I still here: I’m planning things for next year; I’m dreaming big; I’m fighting. Maybe next year won’t be better, but it will be filled with more naked photos, and I think that counts for something.
Things I’ve achieved: blogging
Starting a sex blog was a complete whim, a crazy late-night idea. In the 74 days since I set my site to live and published my first posts, I have published 41 posts. This gives a messy average of 0.55 posts per day, but definitely shows that in the last two-and-a-bit months sex blogging has become part of my life. My laptop breathed (typed?) it’s last about a month ago, so I’m not able to access all of my data and statistics right now. I can’t tell you how many views my blog got this month, or what the most popular post I’ve published is, but I can share some things I’m proud of:
• I actually wrote words. Not having access to my laptop, I can’t tell you how many words exactly, but for the first time I’m churning out words regularly. It feels wonderful to have a writing project that I’m constantly filled with new ideas for, and setting aside the time to actually turn those ideas into blog posts.
• I participated in Masturbation Monday, submitting three posts, Kink of the Week, submitting five posts, and Wicked Wednesday, submitting two posts.
• I took a leap and started sharing photos for Sinful Sunday. Nerves are slowly turning into confidence, and it’s become a highlight of my week. I’ve only participated six times so far, but I had so much fun taking the photos I posted.
• At the time of writing, I have 202 followers on twitter and as yet have made no mistakes between my personal, professional and sex-blog accounts.
• I wrote a guest blog for Girl on the Net. I admire her hugely and adore her writing, so the fact that she’s the first ever person to pay me to write is amazing. I’ve never earned money through my words before, so this is technically achieving a dream that is more than a decade old. I’m a writer.
These are only five short bullet points, but they mean a lot to me. They might not mean as much though, if I hadn’t found such a wonderful community to share my work with.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Firstly, you’re all wonderful. The people who visit my blog, like my Tweets, read my words, comment on my posts, share my work on Twitter, give me support and encouragement… you’re all wonderful. The people who have included me in their #SoSS posts are especially wonderful. Thank you so much, all of you. However, there are a couple of people who deserve their own shout out because they made such an impact on my life in the last few months.
Cara Thereon and Hannah likes dirty words are two people whose writing I love and I’ve talked to a little through Twitter. I’d like to tell them that they’re both more awesome than they think they are – seriously, you’re both fabulous – and I’m hoping to get to know them both better in 2018.
Coffee and Kink and Kayla Lords are both brilliant writers. Exploring their blogs I have found so many posts that have helped, reassured, inspired and aroused. I have huge amounts of respect for both of them, and hope they’re taking some time off over Christmas and New Year – they definitely deserve it.
Bex Talks Sex and Girly Juice have taught me so much about kink, and encouraged me to explore new things about myself through their fabulous podcast The Dildorks. I thoroughly advise you to check out this fabulous podcasting collaboration if you want your life enhanced by dorky discourse on sex, dating and masturbating. Also puns. Many puns.
The Life of Elliott and All That Jizz and Books1799 have both given me loads of feedback and lovely comments. Talking to both Elliott and Cousin Pons has been lots of fun, and I wish them both a wonderful 2018.
MollysDailyKiss is an incredible woman. I cannot thank her enough for all her kind words, her encouraging comments, and the opportunities she’s offered me. Reading her blog is a wonderful experience, and it’s given me so many ideas for things I want to do. The amount of time she dedicates to all her different projects is inspiring, and I have no idea how she manages to do it all.
Talking to DomSigns and Exhibit A has definitely been a highlight of the last few months. DomSigns has been nothing but welcoming, and answered many questions I’ve pestered him with about writing, kinks, and D/s relationships. He’s also pretty funny, and has excellent taste in books. With Exhibit A, I’ve talked about sex, fantasies and erotic photography. I actually got the chance to meet him a few weeks ago, which was a fabulous experience and I hope to see him again in the coming year.
On the same adventure, I got a chance to meet The Other Livvy. She’s fab, and I’m sorry I haven’t spent longer exploring her blog, which includes brilliant writing and photographs. I also visited Luke and Jack’s shop while Christmas shopping. I came away with a gift for myself, but also got to meet one of the men behind the Twitter handle for a great discussion about blogging and anonymity.
And last but never least, Girl on the Net. I’m not sure it’s possible to follow me on Twitter and not be aware that I am in awe of GOTN’s writing. She’s awesome. On her blog, filthy writing mixes with ranty feminism and fabulous guests posts. The first sex blogger I came across, it was her words that made me feel I could seek out and ask for the sex I want. She creates audio porn, builds sex toys, and writes about sex and anxiety. Go read her writing, support her on Patreon and give her all the love.
In my personal life, I have many goals for 2018. These include finishing another year of university, continuing with my medication and starting another session of counselling sessions, and completing the last parts of an award that I’ve achieved so much with already and am super proud of myself for doing so much with already. I’m also hoping to read more, visit a new country, and have lots of orgasms.
However, when it comes to my sex blogging goals, I’m a little more nervous about revealing them to the world. Blogging is a fun part of my life, and I don’t want to put pressure on myself to achieve things, as it’s one area of my life where I won’t feel I’ve failed if I don’t post for a few weeks, go to bed earlier instead of submitting a Kink of the Week post. Thus I’m not telling you my actual goals, but I’m giving you a clue. My goals for 2018 are:
• Something involving other people.
• Something involving travel.
• Something involving pitching.
• Something involving perseverance.
• Something involving a deadline.
In addition to these five goals, I’d like to do something new and scary and exciting. If anyone has any suggestions, please drop me a comment and let me know, but more generally I just want to launch myself into new adventures.
There are lots of things I’m hoping will happen in the next 12 months, but I’m also prepared for some surprises. At the start of 2017 I had no idea that I would start writing and publishing erotica, and thus find myself part of this wonderful community. So I’m signing off for the year as Jadis, sex blogger. I hope your 2018 is filled with desirable adventures.
Happy New Year! x